I recently took a 10-day trip to the United States. My family is there, my wonderful son, his beautiful wife and my 2 fabulous grandchildren. Spending time with them was so much fun, and so fulfilling. The boys are growing, at such fun ages, and they’re bright lights in our family.
There were multiple reasons for this trip, and there were two powerful themes during the 10-day experience: closure and pausing.
Pausing – the first gift
I flew through Amsterdam to New York City. A brief pause in Amsterdam before boarding the flight to JFK, and then a long period of sitting, waiting to land in New York. I thought nothing of it, that’s what flights are — a period where time is liminal, there’s plenty to keep me occupied — works tasks, my Kindle, endless movies and tv shows. But truly, a long flight is a pause, isn’t it? A waiting space between one thing and the next.
Landing in New York, tired from minimal sleep, I checked into my hotel in the city, in the late afternoon and rested. I had no notion that this was the beginning of the Pause theme for the trip. But it was. Ordering food in, I never left the room for the remainder of the day. I rested, read, napped and then drifted off to sleep for the night.
The following day the weather shifted from warm and sunny to drizzly and raw. I was out for a few hours in the morning, but returned to the room in the afternoon to rest, to pause, to be between one activity and the next. In the city that never sleeps, I rested and remained quiet, sleeping a lot, staying out of the busy vibe and pace that New York City offers.
As I continued through the rest of my trip, there were long and short pauses, activities I did not attend, meetings that were less time intensive than anticipated, hours spent in my hotel rooms resting and still.
I changed my return trip plans to avoid a drive back to New York. It resulted in a 7-hour layover in JFK prior to boarding for Amsterdam. Pause. Stillness. I had a 5-hour layover in Amsterdam before flying on to Porto. Pause. Once I’d gathered my baggage and headed out of the airport, I paused for 30 minutes, waiting quietly for my ride back home.
The Pause was present and potent throughout the trip. It enabled me to catch up with myself, to notice and integrate the closures, to acknowledge my inner shifting with full on conscious awareness.
Closure – the second gift
I attended a Celebration of Life for an old friend, someone who’d I’d spent a lot of time with over the course of 20 years. There were a lot of people present at the celebration that I knew from that previous lifetime of experiences. Many of them joined the reception following the service and reflections.
I chose to remain quite still, present for the lovely honoring, then quietly witnessing a circle of elders speaking about their time with this friend.
This was a closure for me, of a time in my life that was powerful and rich, and no longer my world and reality. I could feel the inner completion, the letting go of the stories, the past, and the tendrils that remained incomplete. The following morning, my energy clearing practice completed the release process, catching the cobwebs and dust bunnies of held energy from other times and spaces.
Later in my trip, I saw a friend from my long ago lifetime in Maine. I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. We caught up, we saw each other. We don’t stay connected by phone or text. In fact, we may never see each other again. If we don’t, we’ll both be fine. I love her. She loves me. The love is and always will be there between us.
Two other closures occurred, one expected, one unexpected. Both of them gifts to each person involved.
Pausing Potentiates Closure
Now that I’m home and have mostly integrated my trip, I’m feeling spacious. I have a different pace to my days. Slower. More deliberate. More focused. Less encumbered. Much freer!
Looking back on my time in the US, I realized that the pausing was the catalyst for the harmony and grace of the closures. I didn’t rush into anything, I moved through my experiences with presence, clarity and inner calm.
It was not lost on me that I was in the US at yet another turbulent time in its history. I consciously chose to be separate from the chaos and drama. I traveled in a state of presence and containment that created space to rest, let go and experience closure and completion. My observer self fully aware of the liminal space I was consciously occupying.
Beginning Tuesday, a new pause. A pause with movement. A road trip through Spain and France, seeing sights and places I’ve never been. I’m looking forward to new ideas, insights and interests forming, operating in the liminal space created from the closure I created on my previous trip. This trip is an opening, an inviting. I’ll look out the window, drive through the mountains, poke around in the villages and towns, tour the museums, enjoy the cafes.
For now the pausing and closure is behind me. I relish moving into pausing and inviting!
