Anyone who has spent any time with me in my practice or my energy healing trainings knows that I am rabidly, insanely, over-the-top bonkers about eliminating guilt from the energy body and field. It’s right up there with shame in my estimation, but there’s no way I’m wasting the opportunity to write a separate blog post by talking about shame in this one.
Want to know some of the synonyms for guilt? Fault. Blame. Culpability. Remorse. Shame. D’oh – there’s that shame word again. But you can’t make me talk about that here. No how, no way.
And how exactly, does guilt make you feel? Low, squirmy, uneasy, heavy. It turns on the negative self-talk and the self-hatred. I feel guilt deep in my belly, and it creates agitation in my solar plexus. It reminds me of the feeling I’d have prior to being punished as a child (whether the ‘crime’ belonged to me or not).
Why am I possessed with such vim and vigor over the idea of guilt? Because it’s:
- a low quality, low vibration energy
- counterproductive to self-love and self-care
- a means for self-hatred
- often about standards and rules that were made by others and not necessarily about what is self-generated and authentic
- a way in which people feel unqualified or undeserving of making changes or moving forward in their lives
- often tied in to familial, cultural, religious and other biases and belief systems, a means for self- oppression and repression, becoming who we are not for fear of exclusion. As in, if I break free from this I won’t be ‘loved, part of, accepted, included. Triggering shame – but I’m not going there today.’
And here’s one of the most important reasons I’m anti-guilt: Because if we want to grow, we have to let go. Guilt is a sticky, clingy, stuck in the mud kind of energy. It bogs down progress, discourages self-awareness (you can’t be present in the moment if you’re in guilt). Guilt is sinuously wrapped around historical events – the there and then. Presence implies you’re here now.
- What it can feel like to find yourself guilty
I’m going to share a quote [with permission] from an email I received recently from an absolutely fantastic woman – one who I admire, respect, love deeply. She’s bright, fun, funny, beautiful, smart, capable…and once in a while a bit stuck on her ‘not worthies.’ I won’t tell you her story, but if I had had to live her life during a particularly difficult period in time, I would have been far less capable of withstanding the intolerable situation she was in, and I would have been far less able to negotiate my way out as patiently and impressively as she did. She’s a powerhouse, let me tell you.
Here’s the quote: I am SO uncomfortable with going through life without an instruction manual or someone to tell me what to do. It’s excruciating to think that I may be doing something wrong. Excruciating.
Bless this dear woman’s heart. She’s extraordinary, and stuck in a place where guilt sometimes consumes her. She might do something wrong…so she feels paralyzed and unprepared. She wants a manual or guidebook to keep her on the straight and narrow.
And the guilt she carries is so counterproductive to what this woman wants (and can often choose to be) – joy, peace, fullness, self-love, self-appreciation, autonomous, trusting that she’s on the right track.
This post is a love letter to her. And to any and all of you who are laboring under the burden of guilt. Whatever you did – whatever mistakes you made – whatever choices you made – whatever rules you broke – ask yourself, did you learn something? Would you do things differently if faced with the same situation again? Can you imagine that the experience was simply a moment in time and not the definition of who you are or how you ride? Can you for one moment step out of the guilt and see yourself as a human being who is learning and growing and trying to be in your life as best you can, flaws and all?
- This is what it looks like to find yourself Not Guilty – rather, you find yourself Lovable
Because if you will do that, you’ll begin the process of putting the burden of guilt down. And in so doing, you’ll begin the process of self-liberation and autonomy.
And in so doing, you’ll learn to BE with yourself and love what is. And in so doing, you’ll find it easier and easier to shift what is so that you can love it some more. And in so doing, your energy will lift, elevate, brighten, lighten. And in so doing, so will your life.
With all the love CK can muster, she invites you to find yourself Not Guilty.
Keep your energy flowing!
