Remember that song? Sorry Bobby McFerrin – I mean no disrespect, but it is a really, really dumb song!
And yet, the sentiment is on target. CK’s already written about worry in a recent post – she riffed on a quote she found on Facebook – Worrying is like Praying…for what you don’t want to happen.
Now Bobby McFerrin says he’s going to give you his phone number so that if you’re worried, you can call him. He’s a generous dude. I mean, there’s a lot of worry out there, right? He must be busy and he must have a teensy bit of regret for offering to be a worry warrior! CK wants to help McFerrin get a little rest.
This past week one of the participants in CK’s group healing process (this is a process that is open to Energy Healing Institute students, clients and those who subscribe to EHI’s newsletter) created her intention for the session around helping her young son to find peace and resolution to an internal struggle.
The little guy is chewing on something, trying to figure some things out. He’s a delightful, lovely being. CK knows, she’s met him. When she last saw him, he walked straight into her arms and gave her an incredible hug. Delicious!
The energy work that took place on this mom’s energy field concluded with the following message, shared with you with her permission:
Your need for your beloveds to be happy is precious. And you cannot make them so.
You light the candle, hold the flame aloft, point to the beautiful warmth, glow, energy of the flame of joyous presence and awareness.
And the moment arrives when the beloved shifts from holding the pain, sadness, disenfranchisement and instead embraces presence, awareness, surrender, grace.
There is no work here. There is willingness. Openness. Availability. Presence. Grace. That is the work.
Not quite don’t worry, be happy, but the words are hidden inside the message. As parents (or spouses, friends, colleagues, siblings), we carry an inherent desire to step in, fix, take over, take on for those we love who are struggling, in pain.
And yet, in doing so, we rob our beloveds of the opportunity to do their own work, to find their own way and to meet themselves through the experience they’ve generated and created as part of their self-evolution.
Is CK truly saying that parents shouldn’t worry about their children? No. She’s not. Is she saying that children can solve all of their own problems all by themselves? No. Not really.
What CK is truly saying is that she witnesses parents struggling to find their place in their children’s experiences.
The happy experiences are easy, right? We stand back and applaud successes, wins, goals achieved. We support our children to prepare for their successes – quizzing them on vocab, taking them to practices, games, lessons, rehearsals, performances. We do our best to help our children do their best.
In their children’s challenging moments, parents feel helpless. They want to wipe away the tears and wipe out the issue causing sadness and pain. They want to take it on, take it out, take it away. Parents can’t take it they that can’t take it on, out, away.
The message that emerged for this lovely parent seems like a way in which parents can manage their angst and their concern, and do something concrete and viable to support their children’s journey through their struggles and into self-awareness.
CK feels so present with the parents around the country (and the world) who are working to help their children feel safe in the sanctuary of their school following the horrific shooting in Newtown, CT. Some children will process this experience quickly and move ahead unfazed. Others will struggle with the upsetting trauma that families are experiencing.
Please parents, turn off your televisions when your children are in the room. For your own sakes, please turn away from the horror and seek internal peace. The horror is not the point, finding peace, living peace, being peace is the work!
Light the candle within your hearts, hold aloft the flame of your presence, your self-awareness. Own your healing process, your evolution within yourself. Invite your child to share his or her struggle and hold him or her through that struggle. Find the resources to support your child to see the way through.
Please do not do the work for them. Please do not take away their journey, their process or their ability to find a way to be present to themselves.
Consciousness is a solo journey, and it begins at birth. Giving your children the grace to be in their experience is a gift beyond measure.
You can worry, and you will. And owning your own healing process and modeling it for your children will help you and them to Be Happy.
Keep your vital energy flowing!