Evolution not Transformation

Evolution – A Key Differentiator

If you’ve been kicking around the spiritual community for a while, you’ve likely heard and possibly talked about transformation. It’s an evocative word, a promise of something lofty and magnificent, isn’t it?

Transformation, according to Oxford Dictionary:

A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

Many of my clients have had impressive, deep and powerful experiences that led them more fully to themselves, or supported them to release old stories, beliefs, themes, patterns and behaviors.

Quite a few have ended toxic relationships, or created dynamic shifts in relationships they were striving to retain.

Committed to evolution, they’ve observed and validated incremental shifts, as they opened new doors, walked new paths, and uncovered new ways of relating to themselves, their lives and others.

But not sure anyone’s had a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance. Maybe they’ve looked younger, or more radiant. Maybe they’ve shed or gained a few pounds. But complete transformation? Not a one!

We’re All About Evolution

At EHI, we don’t offer or deliver tools for transformation.

At EHI, we offer and deliver tools for evolution.

Evolution, according to Oxford Dictionary:

The gradual development of something.

Evolution may not be as sexy as transformation. But dammit, it’s way more real and honest.

Gradual.

Incremental.

Step-by-step, day-by-day.

Perhaps moment-by-moment.

Some Cool Evolutions

Depression – Done & Dusted

A client used the CLEAR tools to move through chronic, debilitating depression, never returning to that numbing, flat state. Honestly, she did this in record time, as far as I was concerned. She taught me a huge lesson about expectations.

I unconsciously believed that her evolution was going to be Very Slow, perhaps taking a couple of years.

She had it done and dusted in 6 months. Her intention was clear, her focus pristine. She committed to a daily practice, dedicated to resolving and releasing the emotional energy and stories that were the foundation of her depression. She knew that focusing on this one issue was the way to overcome it.

Caretaking – Kicked to the Curb

A client with deeply embedded patterns of caretaking, perfectionism and self-hatred spent a year working on these themes. When she began her work with me, people who know her well told her that she’d never break these patterns.

Yet, she has. Again, the CLEAR skills were her primary tools, coupled with her observer self, with a side order of time with me as a guide and mentor.

Her relationships have evolved along with her. People she once felt responsible for are now self-responsible. She’s crystal clear about what belongs to her and is her work, and what belongs to others.

This is a tough pattern to break; caretakers often believe they’re only lovable and valuable if they’re taking care of someone else. She didn’t start her evolution with self-love, but she’s landed there as the old pattern peeled away.

Establishing Boundaries & Embracing Role

A successful practitioner did the work to resolve serious issues with boundaries, caretaking and invalidation. She didn’t hate herself, but she didn’t feel worthy. She’d shore herself up with caretaking.

Because her boundaries were so porous, her clients walked all over her. She was overly accommodating and felt responsible for her clients healing. She intellectually knew, but struggled to embrace that her responsibility ends with facilitating a process with integrity, compassion and honesty.

The good news? Beneath her lack of worth and invalidation was a simmering rage.

As she released the low esteem and invalidating emotions, the rage emerged. Ahhhh…now we’re getting somewhere!

For a brief period, she was a human volcano, rage pouring from her like lava. None of the anger was directed at clients. It coalesced behind her desire for evolution, became the fuel for her inner work.

Then, when the pent-up rage began to cool to anger, she was able to harness it as a force for evolution. She drew lines around her role as a practitioner, she shed the caretaking persona, and she owned her worth.

It’s beautiful to see where she is today. She’s lighter, clearer and owns her worth. She holds her work more lightly, and trusts that her clients will receive what she brings to her sessions and take responsibility for their own evolution.

No One Transformed. Solid Evolution.

None of these people transformed. You can see this, right?

Each one evolved, over time, intentional and committed to their process, doing their practices, noticing their iterative shifts, and validating themselves every step of the way. Evolution.

Evolution is a truthful definition of what happens when we commit to a change, and do the work to make it come to fruition.

There are days where epiphanies are gleaned. There are days where nothing happens at all. There are days of shifts — large and small. There are days of joy and days of despair. Yet, there is also a point, where looking back, the realization occurs that what once was held as truth, is seen as false because a new, aligned truth has emerged. Behaviors patterned, nearly automatic, are no longer operative.

Evolve your desire from transformation to evolution!

If you’re looking for transformation, look again. Perhaps set your sights on evolution, and do the subsequent inner work to evolve.

The miracle of evolution is that it’s nearly guaranteed when there’s intention, commitment, focus, observation and validation.

Evolution stands the test of time.