Fact or Fiction? Is being a HSP/Empath:
A: A superpower
B: A life sentence
C: Both a superpower and a life sentence
D: None of the above
I recently read the following series of memes that advocate for the need for HSPs/Empaths to learn to set boundaries.
- deeply empathetic & often caretakers
- prone to absorbing other people’s emotions, moods & energy
- people-pleasers and have codependent tendencies
- always there for others which validates their self-worth
- disconnected from themselves and their needs
- praised for being helpful, which becomes their identity
- wired to stay safe by taking care of others, (even though the childhood trauma was years ago)
Do you relate?
I know empaths and HSP’s relate to a lot of these statements. The memes point to why boundaries are important for these good people. And of course, I agree, but not because boundaries are important for HSP’s and empaths.
Boundaries are essential for all of us, so that we live authentic lives and take care of ourselves.
HSP/Empaths are not born, rather they are made
At the risk of pissing people off, I can say that in 30 years of working with people who identify as HSPs and empaths, not one of them was born this way. They became HSPs through living their early story, they’re conditioned into the role and behavior.
Let me be clear: whatever you did as a child to survive and protect yourself in a traumatic household was brilliant, strategic and appropriate. Yet, if you’re no longer living in the toxic environment and are using those ingrained behaviors in your life today, they’re habits, not strategies.
And…they’re not Who You Are.
I have witnessed countless people resolve the HSP/empathic patterns and live very different lives. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there’s no need to be confined or identified as an HSP/Empath, nor does anyone need to learn to cope with the behaviors, should they wish to live differently.
Let’s take it from the bottom
I reviewed the 7 statements referenced in the first couple of paragraphs from the bottom up. It tells an interesting story. I upended them and added brackets to provide applicable energy insights and perspectives. As I reversed the order of the memes, it took my breath away. Read the story as it unfolds. It’s totally stunning!
7. When I was young, I kept myself safe by taking care of others. [I lived in a traumatic, toxic home or environment.]
6. Vigilant observing and caretaking became one of the only ways I could feel good about myself, and get praise from others. [Vigilance & caretaking are a misuse of the 2nd chakra, focusing emotional awareness on other instead of self. However, they’re a strategy in an unsafe environment.]
5. As a result, I lost track of myself, my emotions and needs. [My 2nd chakra is always scanning and vigilant on what’s happening outside of me. My 3rd chakra is flowing its energy toward taking care of other people. My 5th chakra, authentic self-expression, is stunted.]
4. Yet, the only way to feel good about myself, is to consistently put myself in the role of taking care of others. [Esteem is often intricately entwined with caretaking. The 2nd & 5th chakras are externally focused, and the 6th chakra holds beliefs that say the individual is no one, not worthy, unless they are caretaking, This is a reinforcement of what was internalized in the traumatic home.]
3. I’m now a people-pleaser, and attract relationships where I play a very co-dependent role. [Because all of us attract what we vibrate, and HSP/empaths are programmed to be caretaker/people pleasers.]
2. This lifelong pattern has resulted in a tendency to take on other people’s emotions, moods & energy. [My 2nd chakra is all about everyone but me.]
1. This is the life of an empathic, caretaking HSP. [This is a story, not a truth. Empath/HSP need not be a life sentence. The energy that holds the story in place can be evolved, inviting new ways of relating to emerge.]
What did you notice?
What happens in your awareness when you read these statements from the bottom up? Do you sense a shift, a desire, to excavate the essential you, buried beneath the story you’ve lived?
You can let the energy of the story go by clearing your chakras and aura. You’ll invite and cultivate authenticity. You’ll become the You that is You.
Fact or Fiction
I’m preparing to roll out a live, online course that will run every couple of months. I’m calling it Fact or Fiction. I’m pretty passionate about debunking New Age/quasi-spiritual constructs that have no basis in the energy world. When I first started studying about energy, consciousness and spirituality, I waded straight into the deep end of the New Age pool. I nearly drowned in all of the swampy nonsense. Thirty years later, the swamp remains. There’s still a lot of magical thinking and ungrounded ideas about how energy works. Stay tuned. If you’re trying to separate fact from fiction, this online experience could be just what you’re seeking!