For 10 months, I’ve lived with my condo in a mild state of disorder. During a building-wide re-plumbing project, I had 2 floods in my unit.
I had to have the floor replaced, and it’s taken many months for the moon and stars to align to get the work completed.
Now that it’s truly over, I fully comprehend the amount of energy I was holding to see this project through. Truthfully, if I didn’t drive the process, it wasn’t going to get done. I’ll spare you the details – lots of miscommunication and misinformation between 8 or 10 different parties.
As the tenant in the unit, I became the hub. And the Czar of Intention and Resolution.
To see this fiasco through, I needed to remain present, conscious and intentional. It took 4 months to get all 8 parties in the loop to actualize the new floor!
Without intention, problems often remain unresolved.
I followed a rat trail through each of the 8 players stories, knowing it would eventually yield a new floor.
I’m grateful for this learning experience. I’m clearer within myself, and I have a new floor – what’s not to love?!
I like order. Many of us do. And, I don’t reject or seek chaos.
But if I’m in chaos, I go for the ride. Why fight it?
I moved my stuff around for 4 nights, accommodating the project progression. I couldn’t find important things – I’d forgotten where I stashed them. I ate meals in cafes and my car, used parking lots for phone meetings.
Giving in to chaos is often a necessary part of transition.
I didn’t enroll in the maelstrom. I flowed through and around it.
I’m grateful for this experience. I’m more flexible, and I have a new floor!
Returning home on Day 2, I expected to move my clothes back into the closet that serves as my dresser. I had prepared for one day of closet chaos, ensuring that the day and evening’s clothes were accessible and in a remembered spot. All good.
Except the bedroom/closet part of the project would not be completed til the end of Day 3.
Uh-oh. Where did I put the stuff I’ll need to wear tomorrow?
Enter internal harrumph and fuss. When would this infernal chaos end? And when would it be about me instead of how everybody else wants things to happen?
And then I noticed.
I was trying to control an unfolding transition. Transitions have a rhythm and flow of their own. End of harrumph.
I laughed at my need for control and my resistance to what is so. I surrendered.
Surrender to what is brings lightness, and a way to move back into flow.
I’m grateful for this experience. I increased my ability to let go – and I have a new floor!
During my nightly stuff relocation forays, I fortified myself – every journey has an end. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.
I know what it looks and feels like to focus on the tunnel instead of the light.
Focusing on the tunnel exacerbates the chaos, stimulates the need for control and shores up the resistance to letting go and being with what is so.
I focused on the light.
I (mostly) remained calm, at ease, playful, present as I moved stuff and monitored the progression.
I can hold intention and light while surrendering to chaos, without enrolling in its maelstrom. And emergence and evolution is the prize.
When I returned at noon Wednesday, the floor was done. I spent several hours putting the small things back into place, redecorating. This time the work felt pleasing, enjoyable.
Tired? Yes. And also, light. I felt (and feel) light.
Intention and Evolution
Ten months to hold an intention for a simple transition like a new floor seems a bit extensive. (It is.)
Yet it’s not a long time for a major spiritual/personal evolution.
Intention, Chaos, Surrender, Light, Emergence, Completion. Seems like a model for conscious evolution to me!
How are you navigating transitions in your life?