Emotional Vampires? Seriously?

Recently an EHI student sent me an article in DailyOM by Dr. Judith Orloff.  The article, Combating Emotional Vampires, was an excerpt from Dr. Orloff’s online course of the same name.  Now, CK likes Dr. Orloff’s work in general, and of course, Dr. Orloff didn’t invent the term, she’s using it since it’s in the current energy lexicon.  But CK doesn’t like the term Emotional Vampires.  Not one little bit!

Also called Energy Vampires, Emotional Vampires are people who drain your energy – either consciously/maliciously or unconsciously without malicious intent.

The phrase is catchy – Emotional Vampires – huge teeth, ready to drain your energy, seeking you out unawares, wreaking havoc as they steal your mojo, wiping you out.  I’m sure you’ve come across one or two before.

The problem is – you’re still responsible for who you are and what you do with your energy.  So the term Emotional Vampire makes the other person wrong, and YOU the victim!  Now how’s that working for you?  I mean, it’s totally fine for the other person to be WRONG – who wouldn’t want that?  (CK is winking, I swear it).  The problem is – YOU are the victim, the hapless schmoo who got sucked dry and was helpless to do anything about it.

And that’s where CK goes ballistic.  Well, not really, but it does get her dander up!

You see, that victim mentality – you at the affect of the behavior of someone else – renders you helpless, hopeless, hapless and mojoless and to be honest with you, that just won’t do.

We all have to get our game on, take up our authority and own our energy fields.  You own your clothes, right?  You own your car, your furniture, your computer, right?  Well darlin’, you own your energy, too.  And it’s up to you to take care of yourself and how you ride.

Another thing that really disturbs me about the Emotional Vampire concept is that it sets us up to be in polarity – me against you, us against them.  The Vampires vs. the Sensitives.  Someone gets vanquished, overwhelmed, wiped out, perhaps even ill.  While the other mucks about stealing energy, in a perhaps unconscious feeding frenzy, wiping out the good guys encountered in their path.

And you know what else bothers me about the Energy Vampire construct?  We buy the Sensitive a pass for being easily overwhelmed, unable to manage groups of people, the mall, Wal-Mart, parties.  These people self-marginalize and wind up relegated to fairly small circles of people with whom they feel safe.

So listen up, Vampires.  Get your act together.  Develop your awareness of what you’re doing with your energy.  Own your own energy, dammit!

And listen up, Sensitives.  Get your act together.  Develop your awareness of what you’re doing with your energy.  Own your own energy, dammit!

Because in reality, the solution for Sensitives is the exact same solution for Vampires.  Both groups need to learn to own their own energy and set their fields for the triumvirate awareness:  Self-containment, Self-awareness and Self-responsibility.

Vampires pull on the 2nd chakra of others.  That’s where they’re getting the majority of the mojo that feeds them.  They’re doing so because they’ve already expended their own 2nd chakra energy.  Their 2nd chakras are too open and in need of constant feeding.

Sensitives set their 2nd chakras too open, rendering them easily depleted, overly er, sensitive.  Sensitives are rewarded for their ability to join with others in their pain, sorrow, joy and elation.  They do so by merging their 2nd chakra with the 2nd chakra of whomever they’re with at the moment.

How exactly is that different from a vampire?  Sorry folks, it’s not different – it’s the same thing.

Vampires lack boundaries on their energetic field, thus they are out of relation to themselves and easily infiltrate the energy of others.

Sensitives lack boundaries on their energetic field, thus they are out of relation to themselves and easily infiltrated by the energy of others.

If we all learned to set our chakras (imagine a kindergarten class where 5 years olds are taught to set their energy centers for Self-containment, Self-awareness and Self-responsibility!), there would be no such thing as Vampires or Sensitives!  There would just be You and Me and Him and Her and Us, All of Us!

So, while I have zero interest in taking pot shots at colleagues – whether or not I agree with their point of view – I have a huge interest in reframing this conversation.

If you’d like to receive a FREE pdf file with the appropriate chakra settings for the triumvirate awareness – Self-containment, Self-awareness and Self-responsibility, email me and I’ll get it out to you right away.

And then practice setting your chakras.  Pay attention to your energy.  Refuse to give in to the Vampire theory.  Settle in to the Autonomy reality.  Own your own energy, dammit!

Keep your vital energy flowing!

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Comments

  1. Sorry, but I think you have entirely misinterpreted the concept of emotional vampires to suit your views and opinions.

    All the articles and books about emotional vampires that I have read to educate myself and better equip myself to deal with people who drain one’s energy have been about educating the ‘victim’ about the perpetrator’s modus operandi so that they can learn how to stop being victims, not about ‘blaming’ the emotional vampire and making it all their fault / responsibility…!

    Emotional vampires lurk in the unlikeliest of places, often in the dark, within families, circles of friends and at work, and can and do take advantage of people’s natural good nature and all the positive attributes of the human condition for their own benefit…

    if that isn’t akin to a creature of the night, I don’t know what is…!!

    Now I am learning how to recognise the signs that someone is an emotional vampire, I can understand better how to deal with them and nip any negative and soul sucking behaviours in the bud, that the previously entirely uneducated and naive me tolerated for years.

    To say that victims of emotional vampires have ‘victim mentality’ or are to ‘blame’ for unwittingly inviting one of these creatures across their psychic and spiritual threshold, oftentimes because as with me, they are damaged in some way or ‘trained’ by previous vampires in their former life about how to be an unwitting victim for these people is, quite frankly, rather mean spirited, imo.

    Yes we are ALL responsible for our actions and how we react to people, yes, some of us don’t recognise soon enough the signs that someone is going to suck the life juice out of us until it’s too late, and that’s why the plethora of information out there about how to identify people like that and how to deal with them in a calm, fair and rational way (or simply walk away) is so valuable.

    In my personal case, that knowledge has quite simply transformed my life. Now I know, I can’t say, well, I didn’t see that coming, and continue to be an unwitting victim of takers and abusers, as I know, there’s simply no excuse.

    Sadly, many people still haven’t obtained this knowledge, and that is not their ‘fault’, it is simply a common part of the human condition that many of us suffer from, that ’emotional vampires’ – because that’s EXACTLY what they are – continue to take advantage of.

  2. Hey there,

    I just read your article ‘Emotional Vampires? Seriously?’ and I couldn’t agree with you more. I am a sensitive and I am currently dealing with the aftermath of a failed 10 year marriage to a so called emotional vampire and I am coming to realise that I have indeed enabled the dynamics of our relationship to play out because I have no boundaries.

    I would really appreciate it if you could send me the pdf for setting my chakra’s for triumvirate awareness, I have had enough of feeling the way I do, it’s time to take action.

    Thanks in advanced. I am going to have a good read around your website now.

    Namaste.

    • Hi Ruth,

      Woo hoo! You go, woman! If you’ve had enough, you’ll take up the work and take back your energy.

      I would also encourage you to attend my free webinar, Own & Hone Your Em-Body-Ment. We go through the chakra settings in the webinar, as well as a couple of additional skills to evolve your energy. There are five other fee-based webinars that may interest you as well. But I truly encourage you to come to the free one if it peaks your interest. Here’s the link: http://energyhealinginstitute.org/webinar-classroom-courses/keeping-it-clean-with-energy-hygiene/

      I’m thrilled that you made the connection to the enabling that takes place in relationships. It means you’re ready to move through your life in different ways.

      Rock on, Ruth!
      Chakra Khan

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