Evolving Through Whimsy
I left Portland because I felt tired, stifled and stressed. I needed a break from my ‘normal’ life and routine. I was seeking inspiration and focus to take my work to its next iteration.
A trusted consultant asked me when the last time was that I followed my whimsy, following that question with a query about what I most wanted to do with my time.
Follow my whimsy? It’s been years. Does life even reward whimsy?
What do I want to do? Drive through the desert. For days on end.
Follow your whimsy, he said.
Within 3 days I was on the road.
The Road to Bend, OR
As I drove the 4+ hours to Bend, Oregon on Sunday afternoon, I noticed I was pushing to get there.
That’s not whimsy. That’s pushing.
Relax. Let go. Be. I did.
I noticed that Oliver, my bulldog, pushes his agenda all the time. He refused to take no for an answer when trying to get into my lap as I drove. To be safe, I pulled off the road and crated him for the rest of the drive.
Evolving Moment #1: At an inn on the banks of a rushing stream, I consciously chose flowing over pushing. Ahhhh…
The road to Ogden, UT
I love the spaciousness of the desert. The perspective that comes from standing – or even driving – in the midst of vast, empty space and sensing, feeling, embracing how tiny I am. How irrelevant my agenda in the grand scheme of things.
Oliver, on the other hand, holds his agenda tightly. He wants what he wants. He behaves opportunistically. It’s for him, about him and that’s the end. He connects to get his needs met. He’s adorable and self-serving.
Evolving Moment #2: I know this pattern. I’ve lived it before.
In Ogden, I spent the night at a nameless, faceless hotel. The front desk clerk was tuned out, and I was acutely aware of the meaninglessness of our interaction.
I settled into my room, aware of something brewing within me. Unformed, unnamed, bubbling.
Gaining Altitude & Perspective
My third day on the road – more amazing vistas. The joy and freedom of owning my time, travel plan, space. Feeling mostly free. Except for the visceral brewing.
Driving along, I sat with my awareness that my relationship with Oliver is very challenging. I love him dearly. I do many things to ease his way, and he does little to reciproate. I’m a dog person. How could this be happening?
A short day of driving, culminating with checking in to a ski lodge at 10,000 ft. altitude. Sketchy internet connection in the room, so my Online Course had a few weird interruptions.
I felt trapped – I couldn’t leave Oliver alone in the room, his crate was in the snow-covered, wind-whipped car. I had room service deliver dinner, and went to bed.
I slept for two hours, awakening for the night with altitude sickness – a pervasive headache and queasy stomach.
Evolving Moment #3: With altitude came perspective and awareness. Oliver and I are not well suited. I know what I know.
The Road to Taos
A long, beautiful day of driving. The desert in bloom – patches of purple, orange, yellow, pink, white, blue – brightening the landscape and bringing moments of surprise and pleasure. Drove through Zion, across Utah, Arizona and into New Mexico.
Landing at my Taos rental house, I’m off the road and into my life in this quaint, funky little town.
More to come.
Keep your vital energy flowing!