Normally I prefer to use this space to talk about things other than myself. It’s simpler, cleaner and less personal to reference the role of energy without tying it back to my experiences.
Bear with me, this week’s post is personal.
I spent the last few days clearing out my parent’s home. My father passed almost 4 years ago; my mother moved away 2 years ago when living alone was no longer an option. My siblings and I agreed that it was time to simply the furnishing and dispose of personal belongings to encourage the sale of the house.
While this was not my childhood home, this was the nest where my son and his grandfather created many memories. There were some very special family times that occurred on this beautiful piece of land in the hills of Western Connecticut.
As I arrived at the house, I observed two beautiful hawks, circling fairly low to the ground, riding the thermal currents generated from the mountains. Above them about 20 feet, soaring in a larger circle, a vulture. Above that perhaps 50-60 feet, an eagle. I stood and watched, awe-filled.
Eventually the birds separated, the hawks flying off in one direction, the vulture in another. The eagle soared up and over the mountain, out of sight. I walked in the fourth direction, into the house.
After determining the scope of effort and where to begin the cleanout, my thoughts returned to the birds and their extraordinary display. The circles, concentric. The species, separate from one another, yet flying together. The air currents shared; the view from above similar, though perhaps offering differing perspectives based on their altitude.
I meditated on the image for a few minutes and came away with three words. Messages, Passages, Assimilation.
Within 15 minutes of arriving, I was back in my car, headed to the Inn where I would stay for the duration of the cleanout process. I quickly checked my email before departing and saw an email from my brother. It had arrived while I was watching the birds soar. The message indicated that we had a bona fide offer for the house and negotiations were underway. Hmmm….messages.
Over the next few days I laughed, cried, tsk’d at my father’s pack rat nature, threw away things that I hadn’t seen in 40 years. Found my favorite childhood picture of me, sorted photographs galore and created piles of things.
Sibling piles, Goodwill piles, dump piles, shredding piles.
And one by one the piles disappeared. So many things passing on and through, memories gleaned and stored, tears shed and dried. The passage of years, time and accumulations.
I felt the scouring and clearing of the space was a gift to my family, to my parents. Their time there was precious, and it was released to the ethers, allowed to pass away as is the nature of life. Hmmm…passages.
As I left the house for the last time on Monday, I was clear within myself that I had completed the work. The house was ‘broom clean.’ The possessions were gone – to auction, to the family, to Goodwill, to the transfer station.
The memories experienced and stored away, held within the closure of appreciation, respect and the honoring of what once was, readied for what will begin anew. On someone else’s watch.
The completion of the work was a releasing of the past, the times shared, the moments remembered. And in that completion, in that full release within, the house and its memories are released. It is done. Hmmm…assimilation.
The hawks were prevalent throughout the clearing out process. The meadow where the house lies is their home. I heard them calling to one another, sharing messages and food sources, owning the meadow domain.
The vultures flew by from time to time. I saw them one morning perched on the roof of the inn where I stayed. Three of them on silent vigil over the inn and its surroundings, sensing for the ebbing of life, prepared to honor and dispose of the passage of the body through life-affirming consumption.
The eagle was seen only during that time of arrival at the house. I have never seen one there before. Its departure up and over the mountain a richly symbolic metaphor of assimilation.
The Universe and the raptors held me in this experience in ways that I would not have imagined. I too feel released and have embraced the messages, the passages and the assimilation of the lives of my parents and our experiences together.
Keep your vital energy flowing!